Friday, February 22, 2013

Requirements of a stepparent gone wrong


So I took part in a blog and it appears I have gotten my blog locked.
I’ve been a bad girl in the blogger sphere world.
My initial post was about adjusting to change in ones family dynamics to which someone replied with this.
This post is much longer because a third party joined and had my blog blocked. 

Her reply

I see, I am a firm believer in trying to keep kids emotionally intact. But at the same time if a step parent over steps and steps on the other parent's toes, you get into dicey situations... I am a stepmother. My stepdaughter has a mother and a father. If for some reason my husband dies or is in jail. that child is no longer my responsibility. the child goes back to the mother's home. she has a mother... she does not need 2. As a stepmother it is not my responsibility to wake up at 5am with the kids. if the child hungry the father needs to get up and feed them. I may choose to, out of love for my husband, but it is not required. this is his child from his past mistake.

My reply

Your response seems to be purely off assumptions. I've never made the statement that im a step mom or even referenced that for that matter. That's not the situation im involved in. I completely understand your viewpoints on step-parenthood. I personally believe that it takes a village to raise a child and the more willing capable adults a child has in their life the better off they are in the long run. Stepmothers, fathers and significantly older siblings are a great addition to a child’s life.

Her reply

I am just stating what I am, I couldn't understand where you were coming from in your post. I was trying to answer a extremely vague question to the best of my abilities. I agree that step parents are great additions to a family. but they shouldn't bare the burden of raising another person's child when they don't get sleep that is needed to function adequately. the parents need to fill majority of the roles. step parents are there to step in when needed. you don't NEED to wake up at 5am just because the father is too tired... this is part of being a parent... the parent's need to step up. a step parent can take the kinder roles such as art projects and make overs... you can play cowboys and Indians... you can give cuddles and hugs, you can bandage knees and kiss boo boos, but you do not HAVE to drop kids off at school, wake up at the crack of dawn, make extravagant breakfasts... this you do not have to do... you didn't make the mistake so many years ago, and you do not have to carry the burden, this is the parent's job.


My reply

I must say I completely disagree with you. The more I read your post the happier I am to NOT be a male with children that would be dating you. Not everyone who has children are parents by accident. I am sorry to the man with children that ends up dating or marrying you. Your views are do far left it's ridiculous. You come off as a very selfish individual. You clearly show favoritism. People with children come as a package deal. You choose that life by agreeing to be with that man with children. Woman up to the challenges you agreed to. All challenges including 5 am feeding. It's an all or nothing kind of thing. Its simple you love me; you love my children as well. If you enter into a relationship with children you are creating a blended family. You are agreeing to take on all responsibility as a parent. You do not get to pick and choose what love you give. You should not enter into a relationship with conditional love. I read this quote the other day and it reminded me of you. "You can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT'S selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP... I've been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date." This is what you may have signed up for.

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